The dangerous idea of finding “The One"

The idea of “finding the one” sounds romantic, but it’s actually limiting — and sometimes dangerous. Believing there’s a perfect person out there can cause you to overlook genuine, meaningful connections simply because they don’t fit an idealised mould. And when challenges inevitably arise, you might wrongly assume it means they weren’t “the one” after all. Real love isn’t about perfection — it’s about shared values, emotional maturity, and the willingness to grow together.

Dating wisdom:

Ask anyone in a long-term relationship and they'll tell you: love is a decision, not a feeling. That's what makes it so beautiful.

In a nutshell:

The “perfect" person doesn't exist, but a commitment to growth, understanding, and shared values does.

Thought:

You’ve been sold the idea that there's a perfect person for you —someone who checks all your boxes that guarantee a smooth-sailing relationship.

Anything less and you feel like you're "settling".

I thought the same for the longest time until I realised that this mindset is what prevented me (and most people) from truly loving.

The thing is, thinking there is one perfect person for you is wrong (dangerous, even).

For starters, you risk dismissing meaningful connections because they don’t fit into your idealized mould.

Worse, what happens when challenges arise later in the relationship(and they most certainly will)? Does that mean you haven’t found "the one"? This way of thinking sets you up for disappointment and an endless search for something unattainable.

What now:

Write a list of what truly matters to you. Here's a tool to help you out

You'll now need to put the theory to practice. If you're ready to move past the idea of 'finding the one' and build something more meaningful, apply for Kopi Date. Our curation takes into account 12 different touch points, making sure you connect with people who align with your values.

Kopi Date is a startup which humanises the dating experience - a social platform to meet new people and form rich and deep connections. Forget about swiping endlessly and the hassle of texting. It’s a curated community of fascinating individuals who value genuine connections and having great 1:1 conversations.

Think of it as the opposite of a dating app or a stiff matchmaking agency. Instead of algorithms or pressure-filled pairings, you get a self-directed journey supported by a thoughtful, down-to-earth team. It's personal, freeing, and designed with real people in mind.

No fuss. No complexity. Just the shortest path to deeper, more genuine connections.

How it works:
1. Sign up
2. Curation begins
3. Enjoy a coffee date (coffee provided)!

Website available online. No download needed.

Kopi Date offers each date as a unique experience and opportunity for something life-changing to bloom. With open minds, zero expectations and mutual authenticity, our members are ready to once again humanise the dating process.

Why Kopi Date is one of the best Singapore dating platform:

✔ Skip the small talk and enjoy great 1:1 conversations

✔ Go on affordable dates more often

✔ Uncomplicated journey with just 1/3 the steps of a dating app

New features: Kopi Date continues to tinker with its offline experiences, rolling out a Walk & Talk series where members embark on a unique trail that takes you off the beaten path around Singapore.

Sign up now