Originally posted by Wildchild on 22 May 2024. A non-sponsored Kopi Date review. Her opinions are her original views and thoughts.
Kopi Date Review:
I Went Out With 3 Strangers Through Kopi Date
Jump to Section:
This is not a paid post. All opinions are my own.
Welcome to Dating Diaries, a new series where contributors candidly share their dating (mis)adventures. We’re talking about ghosting and being ghosted; first and last dates; giddy euphoria, crushing heartbreak, and everything in between.
First up, we have a review of Kopi Date, a homegrown dating platform that fosters a holistic and growth-minded approach to relationships — with other people and ourselves. Placing a heavy emphasis on introspection and inner work, their services aim to equip their users with skills that are essential to maintaining loving, healthy, and secure partnerships. Earlier this year, a 32-year-old Singaporean lady took a leap of faith and signed up for the personalized experience.
—— ABOUT ME
For the past five years, I’ve been on and off dating apps and have not had much success in finding a meaningful relationship. As a busy working adult with limited opportunities to expand my social circle, I found it rather difficult to meet people organically. So when I was invited to try Kopi Date, I figured I’d give it a shot. Going on a date with a total stranger was anxiety-inducing but I felt comforted by the kopi part — I loved trying out new cafes and beverages!
Most importantly, I’d be getting to know people who actually wanted a relationship. Using the apps can get so frustrating, especially when you connect with someone who isn’t sure of what they are looking for.
—— GETTING STARTED
Registering for Kopi Date was a breeze. They asked for basic information, such as my occupation, education, ethnic background, etc. Shortly after my submission, my application was approved by the Kopi Date team. Then, I downloaded their members’ app for greater convenience and timely updates. The first thing I did was to complete my profile and I was briefly stumped while coming up with the title of my description. I wanted it to be (somewhat) entertaining or witty, so it wasn’t easy being concise! Eventually, I ended up with “Concerts, coffee, me?”, which captured what was important to me.
After I indicated my availability and beverage preferences, I booked an official Kopi Date onboarding session. During the session, I learned what to expect from the experience and the typical trajectory of a date, from the scheduling to the concluding steps.
The team’s effort in understanding their clients to curate the best experience for them shone through in the onboarding session alone; I felt assured and knew that I made the right decision to try their service.
My first date was scheduled shortly after my onboarding and I was only given the first initial of his name as well as his chosen adjectives and descriptions. Later, I learned that this lack of information was the standard practice for all the dates arranged by Kopi Date as they wanted to ensure that their users did not have any preconceived notions about the people they would meet. Considering that we live in an age where you can easily Google someone, this approach was truly a breath of fresh air. It created an air of mystery around the dates and while I was slightly concerned, I reminded myself to trust the process and to leave the background checks to Kopi Date.
—— THE FIRST FIRST DATE: CASPER THE FRIENDLY GHOST
Since I had not been on a date in a long while, I was a bundle of nerves when I headed to The Providore at Raffles City. I arrived first and he was right behind me, which was a funny coincidence that helped to break the ice. The date was travel-themed, which was apt since both of us were avid travelers.
We exchanged basic details about ourselves: our occupations, how many Kopi Dates we’ve been on, etc. As I was a complete newbie, he explained how the dates typically went before we dived into the Experience Kit, which was an adventure in itself.
The questions were “Would you rather…?” It was interesting to see how we agreed or had differing views on matters that we’d probably not discuss otherwise like, “Would you prefer to be invisible or have the ability to fly?” Sometimes, we veered off course and ended up talking about our travel experiences and tips for future trips. We also found out that we’re both gymgoers and it was exciting to discuss our routines and how we can make better progress.
To my complete surprise, our session overran — we spent close to four hours together — and he missed his next appointment. It was a successful date in my books, which gave me a good impression of Kopi Date as the team appeared to have matched us pretty well.
Later that day, I was instructed to give him a score based on our conversations and to review the date in general. Since I really enjoyed our chat, I gave him a fairly high rating. In the message portion, I thanked him for my great first experience. I also had to indicate if I’d like a second date with him and if I was comfortable with exchanging contact details. I happily selected yes for both.
Two days later, Kopi Date notified me about his review of our date and I received his message for me. He mentioned what I shared with him in the message, which was sweet. I was surprised but happy to see that he was open to a second meet-up and down to exchange contact details.
“What a successful first try,” I thought to myself, excited at the potential of this new connection. I decided to make the first move and message him first. But no response followed.
After so many years of using dating apps, I’m no stranger to getting ghosted but I did not expect to encounter such a situation via a dating platform, especially since he did indicate his interest. So his silence was odd, to say the least. This first date was quite the experience, from start to end. Since he was unresponsive, I did not pursue the connection any further.
—— The Second First Date: A Loquacious Lad
The day before the date, I received his profile. I was invested and excited to meet him because I could tell he was witty from the numerous details he included in his short description. We met at The Providore at Raffles Place and he was a thrilling conversationalist from the get-go. As I am shy around strangers, I really appreciated being paired with someone who isn’t afraid to take the lead in the conversation. His chattiness instantly made me comfortable and we had fun banter.
Our date was supposed to be a Walk & Talk experience along the riverside, but we opted to stay in the restaurant because of the weather. The kit we had was “2 Truths & 1 Lie”. We tried it out for a couple of rounds and naturally progressed to chat about the truths we brought up. We discussed a myriad of topics and since we came from such different backgrounds, there was much to share. As I was leaving for a trip in a few days, he gave me tips for the country I was going to. We also spoke at length about our favorite trips and plans for the future. We then wrapped the night with a nice drink before parting ways.
As he was extremely exciting to be around, I gave him a fairly high rating as a conversationalist. He had a different personality from my first date but they both shared the same love for travel. Since I was more of an introvert, Kopi Date helped me get out of my comfort zone by pairing me with an extrovert whom I might not have dared to approach in other settings.
As with the first match, I was also keen on a second date and willing to exchange contacts. Unfortunately, the decision was not reciprocated. But that’s alright! I felt like I learned so much more about the kind of person I can be when I meet someone vastly different from myself and I was still extremely pleased with the date.
—— A Bar Chat
Not long after the second date, I had a Bar Chat call with a Kopi Date team member. It was a pretty casual chat, not unlike giving a friend a recap of the dates I went on. The main difference was that I was encouraged to pause and reflect on my experiences and dating journey thus far.
I mentioned that I thoroughly enjoyed the dates that were curated for me so far — the guys were so different from each other, which made things exciting. The Experience Kits were also good for breaking the ice. But I sensed that my dates and I were pleased when we stopped using the kits and allowed the conversations to flow naturally.
Of course, I took the opportunity to air the concerns and confusion that I had with the first date. But as with everything in life, success is not guaranteed — I’ll take it as a learning experience! I also shared that I enjoyed the convenience of the app; no complaints here. They wanted to know how to improve my last date but since I was already pleased with the previous ones, I had no additional feedback. I told them that I looked forward to seeing what they had in store for me.
—— The Third First Date: A Kindred Spirit
I had to reschedule this date but it was a fuss-free process. Note that rescheduling is free for the first time but subsequent changes will be charged! The final date was at The Providore in Vivo City. Like the second date, our Experience Kit was also a Walk & Talk along the boardwalk.
However, we decided to remain in the cafe as we had to break our fast that day and eventually, we got too comfortable to move. My date was also very confident that he could be more exciting than the kit, so I let him take on that challenge.
It did take a little while for the conversation to pick up but once it did, we realised that we had so much in common in terms of our life trajectories, careers, and personality traits. We also delved deep into our past dating experiences. It was truly refreshing to have candid conversations about all aspects of life with a stranger. We talked so much, till the cafe closed. He certainly fulfilled his promise to be extremely entertaining. At the end of the date, he walked me to the MRT station, which was a kind gesture that I appreciated.
Among the three men, I felt the most comfortable and at ease in his company. We both were looking for the same outcome and had many shared experiences. It was no surprise that I marked him as an exceptional conversationalist and opted to keep in touch. The feelings were not mutual this time around either but I understood why he may have felt so. After all, I was only his second date and I’m sure he was excited to explore more curations that may wholly fit the kind of partner he is looking for.
—— Final Thoughts
After my third date, I was able to view my Personalised Feedback. Basically, Kopi Date tallied up all the comments from the different dates and built a mini portfolio for me.
It was interesting to read about myself from my dates’ perspectives. It helped me identify areas for improvement (“In some instances, they noticed you were a bit more passive in conversations.”) and discover positive traits about myself that I was previously unaware of (“Being open-minded is one word that has been used to describe you!”). From the introductory call and the Bar Chat to the tailored feedback that was meticulously consolidated by their team, I felt incredibly supported throughout my experience.
Honestly, I was surprised at how rapidly and effortlessly I was able to adapt to blind dating. But I’d credit that to the team’s uncanny ability to curate (almost) perfect matches for me. Since I had many shared interests with all of them, we ended up talking for hours on end. Moreover, Kopi Date opened the doors to encounters with attractive individuals whom I may have hesitated to approach because of my shyness.
Since I enjoyed my experience, I would definitely recommend their service to anyone who is burnt out from dating apps. One thing’s for sure: dating with intention is so fulfilling. While I may not have succeeded in furthering my connections, trying Kopi Date was still a step in the right direction. Who knows? For you, it could very well be — in the words of Troy and Gabriella from High School Musical — the start of something new!
All graphics by Wildchild; screenshots by the contributor
Editor’s note: While this review is not an advertisement, the experience was complimentary.
Blog post source: https://wildchild.sg/2024/05/22/kopi-date-review/
Kopi Date is a startup that curates thoughtful 1:1 coffee dates at unique spaces in Singapore.
We offer the easiest, most authentic, and stress-free way to meet interesting people. With us, it’s all about dating with intention ☕️ Plus, you’ll meet amazing individuals.
Leave the work to us and take swiping off your to-do list!
Sign up now to enjoy thoughtfully-curated dates.
