The Science Behind Attraction: Why We Like Who We Like

Attraction – it's an age-old phenomenon that has bewildered humans for centuries. Is it the curve of a smile, the sparkle of an eye, or something deeper? While poets and romantics have penned countless lines on the mysteries of affection, science has its own perspective on why we are drawn to certain individuals.

Unraveling this mystery requires a deep dive into the realms of biology, sociology, and psychology. Let's explore the captivating science behind attraction.

1. Biological Influences: Genetics and Pheromones

The first stop on our journey of attraction is our genetic coding. Research has consistently shown that our genes play a pivotal role in who we find attractive. A landmark study demonstrated that individuals are more likely to be attracted to those with different immune system genes. This difference, as per the theory of natural selection, increases the chances of producing offspring with a diverse and robust immune system.

Then there's the intoxicating world of pheromones. These scent signals, imperceptible to our conscious nose, can speak volumes to our subconscious, indicating potential compatibility

2. Sociological Perspectives: Social Conditioning and Proximity

Beyond our biological wiring, societal norms and our environment play a substantial role in shaping our attractions. From a young age, media, culture, and societal standards feed us images and ideas of ‘ideal' beauty and relationships, subtly moulding our preferences.

Furthermore, the mere-exposure effect, a psychological phenomenon where people tend to develop a preference for things or people they are frequently exposed to, explains why those in close proximity, like colleagues or neighbours, often become the subject of our affection.

dating singapore online kopi date singles free app download

NOW’S THE TIME TO

Embrace adventures & new possibilities

3. Psychological Factors: The Power of Similarity and Reciprocity

Psychology provides a treasure trove of insights into human attraction. One cornerstone principle is the attraction of similarity. Whether it's shared hobbies, values, or backgrounds, similarity breeds connection. Studies have shown that we are more likely to be attracted to individuals who mirror our beliefs, attitudes, and levels of intelligence.

Reciprocity, too, holds immense power in the realm of attraction. Simply put, we are more inclined to like someone if they show that they like us. This mutual appreciation can kickstart deeper connections and relationships.

4. The Enigma of “Love at First Sight"

The idea of 'love at first sight' has been romanticised in literature and cinema for ages. But is there any scientific credence to it? Some researchers believe it's less about instant love and more about a potent mix of biological, sociological, and psychological factors coming together. This instant “click" could be due to a combination of genetic compatibility, societal conditioning, and psychological readiness for love.

While the tapestry of attraction is intricate and interwoven with numerous threads from biology, sociology, and psychology, it's clear that both nature and nurture play their parts. As we continue to uncover the mysteries of the human heart and mind, we grow closer to understanding the profound question: Why do we like who we like?

By blending the insights from multiple disciplines, we can better appreciate the depth and complexity of human attraction, moving beyond simplistic notions and truly celebrating the marvel of human connection.


Kopi Date is a startup that curates thoughtful 1:1 coffee dates at unique spaces in Singapore.

Kopi Date is a step away from the frustrations of online dating, transforming the overly digitised process into a humanised experience.