What is a Situationship?
& How to Spot One

5 mins read.

What is a Situationship?
& How to Spot One

A situationship is a type of romantic or sexual relationship that is not clearly defined or established. It is often characterized by a lack of communication about the nature of the relationship, a lack of exclusivity, and confusion about where you stand with the other person. If you have ever been in a "I'm not really sure what we're doing" type of dating scenario, you may have been in a situationship.

Situationships can be confusing and bring up a lot of questions, like: what is a situationship? How can I tell if I'm in one? What should I do about it? Well, we've got answers. Here, experts share everything you need to know about situationships.

First, it's important to understand what a situationship is. According to therapist Michele Miller, a situationship is "basically the new way of saying 'it's complicated.' It's that in-between phase of going on regular dates with someone but without a discussion of exclusivity or your relationship status." In other words, you may be seeing each other regularly and have a strong connection, but there has not been a clear conversation about the nature of the relationship or your commitment to each other. This can lead to a lack of quality time, infrequent communication, and confusion about where you stand with the other person.

So, how can you tell if you're in a situationship? One key indicator is a lack of direct conversation about the nature of the relationship. If you have been seeing each other for a while but have not had a clear conversation about what you are to each other, it's possible that you're in a situationship. Without defining the relationship, you may feel unsure, anxious, or confused because you don't know what to expect from the person you're seeing. Conversations may feel more surface-level, and you may not have met the important people in their life despite knowing them for some time.

While situationships are often portrayed in a negative light, they can actually be a positive experience in certain circumstances. For example, if you're interested in exploring and learning more about your needs through dating, a situationship can offer the opportunity to date multiple people at once without the pressure to commit. Miller also notes that some committed relationships may even start out as situationships, allowing feelings to develop more organically and giving both people time to build a deeper connection.

However, situationships can also be a negative experience if one person wants a more committed relationship while the other does not. This can lead to miscommunication and hurt feelings due to the gray area created by the undefined nature of the relationship. Therapist Leah Aguirre explains that situationships can be uncomfortable if you feel like you're in relationship limbo, "You're not a couple, but you're more than two people who just met."

So, what should you do if you're in a situationship but don't want to be? As with any aspect of a relationship, communication is key. Wood suggests first understanding what you want from the relationship and from the other person, and then sharing that with them and asking them to share their desires with you. This conversation may require vulnerability and bluntness, and you should be prepared for the possibility that they may not be on the same page as you. However, it's important to be honest about what you want in order to avoid being stuck in a situationship if a more committed relationship is what you desire.

Ultimately, whether you want to be in a situationship, a committed relationship, or something else, it's important to feel empowered to pursue the type of connection that feels right for it is essential to have open and honest communication with your partner about your desires and needs. This may involve having difficult conversations and being vulnerable, but it is necessary for the health and well-being of the relationship.

It is also important to remember that situationships are not inherently bad or wrong. They can be a positive experience for some people, offering the opportunity to explore and learn more about their needs and desires through dating. However, it is important to be aware of your own feelings and needs, and to communicate them clearly with your partner. If you find that you want a more committed relationship, it is important to be honest with your partner and have a clear conversation about what you are looking for.

In conclusion, a situationship is a type of romantic or sexual relationship that is not clearly defined or established. It is characterized by a lack of communication about the nature of the relationship and a lack of exclusivity. While situationships can be positive in certain circumstances, they can also be confusing and uncomfortable if one person wants a more committed relationship while the other does not. If you find yourself in a situationship and want to be in a different type of relationship, it is important to communicate your needs and desires with your partner. Ultimately, you should feel empowered to pursue the type of connection that feels right for you.