Originally posted by Cheyenne Philips on 9 October 2023. A non-sponsored Kopi Date review. Her opinions are her original views and thoughts.

An Honest Kopi Date Overview
Review by Cheyenne Philips

This is my final overview of my Kopi Date Adventures. (View previous review here)

I am, of course, rating the service and not the people who use it- because I have to admit, that would be unfair to the Kopi Date team. If you are in the business of people, you can’t control the people engaging in your business (even with an OnBoarding Call).

PROS

• Because Kopi Date arranges everything logistically, it is very good for busy people who cannot spend time making plans (or have secretaries who are overworked1).

• It definitely saves time on the ‘swiping’ (because there is no swiping).

• You really meet a variety of people, particularly those that lie outside your social circle.

• Dates are set up with Singaporean-like efficiency (this is a local brand).

• Growth Mindset is at the centre of what they do. You can see it built into every system.

• The kits are built to be conversation-centric. Also, they are so cute!

CONS

• If you are like me and you work irregular hours, you need to keep your availabilities updated regularly. If you cannot make it, Kopi Date opens a chat function for you to reschedule your own date and then update them. The first time is free, subsequent incidents include a $5 penalty.

I do like the concept of Kopi Date where you show up, you meet someone, you have a conversation or do an activity and hopefully, you like each other. It’s very meet-cute-esque. I can see how a novel experience can allow strangers to connect and have something that is shared- I truly appreciate this aspect of Kopi Date. This is why I was excited about the kits because it would be the one thing the dates and I would have in common.

It is also very nice meeting new people especially people that you might not curate for yourself. I think time after time, I meet people who are in the same social spheres as me. I gravitate towards them because I know we will have something in common. Meeting people outside my sphere was great and very helpful for me ( even with just 3 credits). I had to be curious about them, and try and convince them to open up and be honest or potentially vulnerable with me. Not everyone was- but honing this skill and using this muscle is valuable to me. I might not click with someone in the end but I do want them to feel seen and vice versa.

The resources and follow-ups do have growth at the centre of it. Even if you did not click with someone, there was something that you definitely learnt from that person or that experience. I learnt that I like fun and spontaneity, I like to be intellectually stimulated and I am looking for a little bit of vulnerability from someone. This is a lot clearer now having gone through the experience.

Lastly, there is some assurance that people using the service are interested in something long-term (because they are paying for it). You may not have access to the pool of people, but the fact that there is a financial commitment to find someone might mean that they don’t take the opportunity to meet with you lightly.

I would still recommend Kopi Date. I do think it is a novel idea and in Singapore, we don’t always have the opportunity to have a new experience with a stranger. I appreciate the conversation-centric nature of the service and the growth mindset they try to implement everywhere. You really have to trust the process with Kopi Date and if you are open to relinquishing some control, go for it!

The experience has made me wonder what Singaporeans want in a partner, how people currently date, and what they have conversations about. There had to be a gap in the market to create a service like this and there is the question of if that gap had been filled.

On a personal level, I do think that I have experienced some growth. I didn’t feel the need to over-impress everyone I met up with, which would have been something I would have tried to do in my early 20s. Embracing the company’s values and being genuinely myself was something I was focused on. In the end, it is okay if 3 credits did not bloom into anything else. It did not need to. There was no pressure for it to.

Now, I’m walking away with new questions that I would like to work out the answers to. Onward to the next curiosity.

1. I am my own secretary. I am overworked. I cannot quit.
   
   Cheyenne Alexandria Phillips shares her authentic voice in these witty and reflective essays, followed by links of topics that piqued her curiosity.
   

Blog post source: https://thepoeticscientist.substack.com/p/field-notes-1st-kopi-date